ouronlyhunter

I'm watching Candyman - and had to pause to order the soundtrack. I really... don't know Philip Glass, but damn. It's just so incredibly pretty. Even if you don't like horror movies, you should check it out. (It's called the Music of Candyman, and the cover of the CD is lovely, as well, although you won't get it unless you know the movie. Sweets to the sweet!)

Also, Candyman and Hellraiser? Two of my favorite horror flicks, although I think Candyman has a much, much prettier soundtrack :D It actually doesn't sound like a horror movie soundtrack at all; more like classical, which makes me laugh a little.

Also, Candyman is currently up on hulu, if you want to check it out. It's worth it if you can stomach the blood and gore. (Which I don't consider a spoiler; it's a Clive Barker horror, and you really have to expect that from a man who comes up with Midnight Meat Train.)

Le sigh. A week for my soundtrack to come in, though. And I really, really should own all three Candyman movies on DVD. Must see to fixing that.

~Dex

I'm doing nanowrimo this year.

~Dex

I'll go with most recent. Yes, I confronted them directly, then on my journal where I was being spied on, then in public because I didn't want to go through that spy shit again.

Pretty much exactly what I said; that I may not have acted completely properly, but they were using me way before that. And that I was through with their bullshit. I felt a lot better after getting that out.

I so did not want to go into work today - I just started this kick ass novel by D.C. Fontana called Vulcan's Glory. So of course, when i come home and start it, it seems that the Amazon version is missing a chunk. The end of one sentence is "of ." WTF? Really? That space between the of and the period indicates more. So does the fact that most sentences don't end in the middle of a thought, then move onto a new section with different characters -_-

Contacted amazon about a faulty product - hopefully they can figure out if that chunk is missing and if so, they can provide a full version. Because... wants!

And on a related note, I'm no longer doing 50 in '09. Because I'm up to sixty two so far. Going for 100 now.

*edit* I didn't expect Amazon to be up and running at 8PM - but I just got an answer. It might take a week or so, but they're going to look into the problem. Still, yay for a quick answer. Amazon? Win once again. It's hard to be too upset with them when I haven't had a problem with any other e-book I've bought yet, and getting an answer within an hour? Just awesome customer service.

*second edit* Ha. Two words were missing XD But seriously, within an hour, or an hour and a half? This issue was resolved, later than most customer services are open. Honestly, if this is the type of CS I'm getting from Amazon, you can bet I'm sticking with them!

~Dex

Am around, kind of. I just haven't had the urge to post a lot.

Am really enjoying the Lee Goldberg Beyond the Beyond crossover in the Monk novel. The name Mr. Snork makes me laugh every time. And I want to know what he uses that damn trunk for in the fanfiction...

And am just simply amused all around. Novels I'm reading are good, I have someone to go to horrorfest with maybe this year, am going to readercon, and I'm kicking so much ass at my job and my bosses are taking notice. What's not to like, really?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drool over some more ST/Philosophy books and decide which one I'd like to order next...

~Dex

I'll be posting reviews - movies, tv shows, books - and some of my own art on this journal here:

sbick

Haven't done one in a while. Taken from mmouse15





Fascinating. I'd just been thinking about how my friends do appreciate my honesty. Of course, that makes me very unpopular with people who are trying to manipulate me, some of whom are more charismatic than I am. I'd rather be honest than popular though, and have always taken that stance, since childhood. I just can't be one of the ones who lets evil prosper through inaction, which i think ties into my honesty.

Also, I've come to decide that truth often clashes with sympathy and compassion; while I'm not a cold-ass bitch, I have very little use for those who live only for sympathy and compassion. I would rather know when I am wrong, and would rather have someone tell me to my face.

~Dex

Sweet. This week these comics should be out:

STAR TREK-Crew (Trade Paperback)-$19.99
STAR TREK-Spock Reflections #4-$3.99

Am excited. Will look into Crew before buying/ordering, but I'm super excited about Reflections. I'm really loving that series XD Also, AHM number 16 - but we'll see. I'm like four issues behind reading that so I keep wondering why I keep buying them -_- Might drop some of the TF lines, but probably not this one - I just need one day to catch up on them.

Yeah, I went to coinstar. Had eighty dollars, got an Amazon GC and proceeded to blow in on ten e-books. I forgot to get the one book that was newest on my list and that I really wanted to get; next time around, though.

Mouse, if you're interested, one of them is the first Lee Goldberg book in the series I was telling you about. I'll tell you how the first one is, too, after I'm done.

I the second two Mirror universe anthologies because the first one was so amazing. I also got the first of the two Myriad universe anthologies, and the first of the Errand of Vengeance and the Janus Book trilogies. I'm really super excited. Just have to finish some of the ones I'm currently reading, and then I'll be onto these.

I still have almost enough for another book - the one that I wanted - but I'm four cents short. It's... not so much the money as the fact that if I wait another couple of months, I'll pace myself instead of getting a whole bunch of books that I don't currently have time to read.

I'm posting this to everyone. Because if there's another leak in my journal, I don't want to deal with the whole issues that come up. And if someone wants to come in here, and start drama with/for me, it's really not going to work.

But this is bothering me, a lot. I have a lot of friends who have actual problems. And then I match up times when someone had problems, and with, say, when I got real life friends - or got more hours at work and thus, of course, couldn't dedicate all my waking hours to them. And it really just... bothers me. Not angers me, despite what the icon would make you think; it's just the closest to bothered that I have of Spock.

And then this new post. I'm sorry, but typing coherently after having a stroke that affects half your body, you can't type well enough to say so.

See what the mayo clinic has to say about this:

"Paralysis or loss of muscle movement. Sometimes, a lack of blood flow to the brain can cause a person to become paralyzed on one side of the body, or lose control of certain muscles, such as those on one side of the face. With physical therapy, you may see improvement in muscle movement or paralysis."

I'm sorry, but a couple days after? That's just a little too much to buy, and yes, I did research after asking a doctor because I was bothered by this. I'm sick of getting told that I'm obsessed - or more obsessed than - when that someone else is the one continually making nonsensical digs at me. So, no, you know what. I'm not going to just ignore this because I was reading another book and line about just pretending shit didn't happen hit me. No, sorry. Just... no, not when you continue to drag me down. I'm also not *trying* to be mean, but you have to understand - within two or three years, this persons wants me to believe - through the internet no less - that they have had MS, lupus, cancer, a stroke, all immediate family in and out of hospitals, family has cancer, they have another kind of cancer, diabetes. I don't believe you were abused as a child.

It was implied that I was going behind her back when I laid out the facts privately; this same being cannot accuse me of this again. It's all out in the open. I no longer believe you have any of these ailments; I believe you do have an ailment, which all these stem from.

I have to get this out. It's been eating away at me, and sometimes getting shit out on paper helps. And on paper for me lately is in my online journal - which is what this is. So let it be known - I am no longer your puppet. I believe you want this to eat away at me, that you want this to drive me crazy, that you want to be that important in another life - that you want to have the power to matter to someone. But you know what? I feel bad for you. I feel actual compassion, not pity, not sympathy. Compassion. I hope you get help for that one problem that you do have.

I had a shitload of epiphanies today. Most of them... if I share them, I kind of defeat the purpose of having them - because it would only get me involved in more drama. For those of you I trust, feel free to e-mail or IM me and I'll be glad to share. But let's just say that I'm better than spouting all this shit; I'm going to suffer fools gladly. Or more accurately ignore them.

Dr. Z helped a lot today. I'm feeling so much more stable tonight than I was all day. I just wanted to cry all day long, and I had the day off and also spent it with Rene, buying lots of TOS books and some movies, and just plain having fun.

I also finished Beyond the Beyond which also helped a great, great deal. It's a Lee Goldberg book that I was told by an amazon review I would hate if I were a die hard fan of ST. I may not have been one forever, but I loved TNG, loved the new movie, and have found a great love of the new series. I'm not a convention going, omg, the original is sacred and all else is blasphemy type of girl, though. Yeah, I get annoyed at some things, like Rogue getting a name and taking all the mystique out of her character, but the first two movies were great. I loved Ultimate X-Men. I loved the reboot - although I'm finding not as much as TOS, which is a huge, huge shocker to me - and I love TF: Animated, and the IDW verse. So having just recently dealt with such die hard, omg, noes, you changed one little thing! fans lately, some characters in this book just made me snicker. The whole thing was funny. You need to know certain TOS episodes to get some fairly obscure in jokes - Altair, anyone? - but there are like only a couple. In general, it satires the business of movies, and the seriously unbalanced fans, as well as the Star Trek franchise itself. No in depth ST knowledge is needed to enjoy the book in my opinion. I'll give an in depth review when I get the time to sit and think this through. But if this gets to you, Mr. Goldberg, thank you, thank you so much for putting this on amazon. And for making it two bucks to boot...

~Dex

PS - Mouse, it's the Lee Goldberg who does the novels for Monk and who's written for the show XD I'll totally have to give the Monk novels a chance now.

One, today I paid for my nasal spray so I didn't have to get b-12 shots. Fifty bucks >< Ah, well, my parents were pushing for me to go nasal spray and have offered to pay, so I'm going to let them, at least this time around.

Two, my dad was being sued for negligence. It was a bullshit suit, and he won on Friday. Yay. I had a stress migraine on Tuesday, so bad that I took my migraine meds after work and was all zombie-like wonky, but it was all good. I did finish up two hours of work with the migraine so it wasn't puking/completely debilitating, but I was later told by family members that I should have just come home and taken the meds... However, I also didn't completely freak so... Obviously I am becoming more Vulcan like - although the price of the meds made me want to curl up and cry. I really don't look forward to paying that every two months forever -_- So I'm not all the way there.

Three, I haven't turned on my computer for more than fifteen minutes per day. Real life too satisfying, and too busy.

Four, I have found new horror authors. Discovered Thomas Ligotti, loved My Work Is Not Yet Done. Lent the other book to Rene. Also, new Skipp edited zombie anthology is gorgeous! Am looking forward to Bite Marks, as well. Halloween table? Very bad for my bank account. (I also want more signed books; I've had a craving for them lately O_O That and first editions. Have never had a great urge for either before.)

Five, snagged last Fringe with exclusive comic at Best Buy. Yay Walter. I so love his character. Yay for the giddiness of new fandoms. Also, I can't tell you how much I love Walter. Not in a lusty way, but I love his character to the point that I think he's my favorite at the moment. Between Star Trek, Fringe, ST books and comics, TF cartoons, movies, and the slight fandom connections I still retain, I am completely fulfilled in my fangasms.

Six, I've started wanting it to be July already dammit. Can I has readercon now? Thank god for a con where there's no dressing up - I've always found the human-bot costumes silly and only now have found the courage to say so, or other ridiculous behavior. This is, as Bill has said, a respectable convention. Or as another friend told me, it's boring. Just what I'm looking for, however. (Seriously, I wanna blow like a grand on the rare books there... Bad, bad Dex...)

So, pretty much all of this tells you I'm alive, doing well, and probably won't be on as often.

~Dex

Or... scarier thought, Doctor Dex... -_-

Anyway, bag pictures, they are here. Sorry, corruption of disk or something 'cause the first, better picture didn't come out. Also, actual science/medical insignia for comparisons. And possibly me mocking myself. Although, I probably won't be brought down; my dad took one look, got all confused at my pride, and said, "did you sew it on?" because he thought it was a patch, lulz. So it's fairly good, I'd say.

( Does this mean I can do physics? Or surgeries? )

There is none that I can find -_-

I made one. I found one for ten dollars at Walmart that was the light blue science/medical officer blue. I did a TOS science department/medical department insignia. snarechan helped me figuring out how to transfer drawing to bag. Is dizzy and headachy now thanks to the sharpies, and I may go over the gold with a... better gold. Not perfect, but... done. Is happy. Has fandom bag for tomorrow at work XD

Also, I may not be around over the weekend. Dexter by design came in and I'm only one disc into s3 of Dexter. Oh, Michael C. Hall... Mmm. Between him and Sylar, I can totally have a serial killer weekend... which, y'know, I think I'm gonna do because I want to.

My inner-Spock is satisfied with my progress on the okay, calm down, front. I've finally figured out I can't block my anger, or get upset when I get angry. I have emotions. The trick is to not act on them; Spock approves this since it should work for me... Yay.

Okay, gonna go see if the new gold pen, one, works on fabric, and two, is better than the sharpie. I'll post a pic of the bag tomorrow when I have better natural light and the gold figured out the way I want it.

~Dex

I'm absolutely fascinated by human behavior. I was contemplating a comment left anonymously in my journal yesterday, and decided to make this post, and maybe even most of my further posts, public and open to anonymous posting. I refuse to be cowed, shamed, or hurt by whatever they might write.

( Fascinating... )

Just because. Fuck it, yeah, most of my shit is hidden, but y'know what? Public post 'cause I'm doing well.

( Whee! )

Go see Laird's journal at imago1 to see the link about how Procession of the Black Sloth might eventually be a movie. Plus, Laird's journal? Just worth going to because he is made of awesome, as I have said before and will continue to say.

But in particular, this is the news I'm talking about: http://imago1.livejournal.com/34636.html

Of course, this is exciting as I told him I wanted a Laird-novel a long time ago: http://imago1.livejournal.com/34409.html

And I just realized that Laird gave me the dates for next years Readercon. Sorry, Laird, I've been extra flaky today. I so am going to make it... I will, I swear, I will. *My goal is now to see Laird in person*

And I'm going to see if I can pre-order Lovecraft Unbound tomorrow. (Guess who's got a story in that? I'm obsessive, but hopefully not a scary obsessive. *throws money at Laird if that helps make me less scary*) Btw, I will totally buy *all* of his stories/collections/novels to come in e-format if they come out in e-format...

I just discovered Enterprise. It's all about Vulcans, really. Or a lot of it is. Sighs. At least it's got T'Pol and just... wants the whole series now -_- I can't find it anywhere so for the holidays I'm going to order the whole series into the store and buy it. Happy next-holidays to me, and yay, I'm already looking forward to it.

I'm not f-locking this. I'm pretty sure the relevant party won't bother to read this anyway, so as far as I'm concerned, I'm saying this just for me.

Dear anon,

talking to me - to anyone - by proxy when you just disappear is total bullshit. It involves that everyone do more work, effort, that they worry about you - but so long as you get that attention, things are good - and puts all the onus and responsibility on everyone else. It's wank, utter wank, and cowardly to boot. Grow up, man up, and just tell someone off if you're that pissed off at them and can't present the problem to them.

Also, and somewhat unrelated to this, I've come to a decision in the past two days. I need to be calmer, I need to be more mentally and emotionally healthy for myself. Which directly relates to the second decision - no more crazy bitches. Just... no. I'm done with the crazy, thank you very much, especially when they piss on me and then expect me to treat them with respect. Wank, and bullshit again, and I'll pass on it. You want respect, then treat me with some.

In conclusion, a quick statement. I know I should feel sympathy for someone. I'm not going to go into details, as they're unnecessary, but I know I should just feel some sympathy. I can't. I'm either numb, or just pity them so much, the only thing I feel is disgust. I guess I forgive them for some shit they've put me through, but only because it's healthier for me. Plus, keeping up the anger when I feel pity in the 'god, that's really just pathetic' kind of way. I guess maybe if they'd been less of an ass all around, I'd be actually able to feel bad for them...

Work's starting to get a little less crazy and less of the suck, so that's nice.

I just realized that Barbary Hambly wrote a second TOS book (the first I read was Ishmael, which has 1867, Spock and amnesia which is just total win.) Am super excited. Also, keep watching A Piece of the Action where Shatner makes Nimoy laugh when Spock should be serious, and also A Private Little War which keeps making me flinch - and I'm pretty much completely desensitized to violence. But, wow, that scene where Spock gets shot? Fucking brutal...

Not the first of John Ajvide Lindqvist's writing, but the first translated into English. Almost 500 pages of vampire-romance, and it left me crying and speechless. This post will be under a cut and public, and not at all personal.

( Warning: Lengthy and many, many spoilers )

Give me any pairing/character in any of these fandoms:

Transformers - 2007 live action movie or Animated
Dexter
Kyo Kara Maoh
Chuck
Jekyll (the BBC series)
Knight Rider (Just started this series)
My Own Worst Enemy
Life on Mars
Eli Stone
Ugly Betty
Pushing Daises

Fandoms I'll consider:

Buffy/Angel
X-Men - movie or comics
Firefly
Heroes
Lost

I'm not gonna limit them, but I don't know when I'll get a chance to write them. (Probably during my lunch breaks, it'll give me something to do.) I'll probably get to splatterpunk - and yes, dammit, I like that category of horror even if it's pretty much obsolete since the term has been replaced - first. Basically, if it's a request for gore, check, yes, plz.

I'm not taking uber-detailed requests, but gimme a word/theme/something, and I'll get to it ASAP. Or just gimme a character/pairing, and I'll get something to you - probably on the gory side. (Also, if you want TF, lemme know which continuity - movie or TFA, thnx.)

~Dex